Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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