So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
