i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize