When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
