If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
