Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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