8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
