I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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