Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
