literally had 100 drinks last night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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