I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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