If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
