so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
