Duck Duck Cougar?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
