My first STD was from a foam party
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Everclear isn't food dammit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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