I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
