mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
And then he peed in my hair
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
