why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize