Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

  (818): View more from California

  Punch her baby.

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  (314): There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me. (818): Punch her baby. http://tfl.nu/ve2m
  Replies (59) Good night (6439) Bad night (1017)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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  (636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2
  Replies (38) Good night (4688) Bad night (608)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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  (646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (1101) Bad night (4116)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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  (806): All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots" http://tfl.nu/28dj
  Replies (12) Good night (5474) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1993) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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  (785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2306) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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  (803): Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now. http://tfl.nu/1qen
  Replies (9) Good night (2694) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.

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  (228): Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis. http://tfl.nu/q40e
  Replies (15) Good night (5068) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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  (765): His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison. http://tfl.nu/cqq3
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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  (510): can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night http://tfl.nu/2hja
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  its 2pm. u awake yet?

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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  (406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS HAPPENING

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.

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  (724): WHAT IS HAPPENING (1-724): A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US. http://tfl.nu/lbg7
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.

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  (804): my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important. http://tfl.nu/uv51
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (176)

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