Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.