Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks