Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me