Already got asked if we're dating
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
there is glitter all over my balls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize