Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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  (847): Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one. http://tfl.nu/00mh
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (1928)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (544) Bad night (2328)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  our cab driver is having phone sex.

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  (773): our cab driver is having phone sex. http://tfl.nu/18ax
  Replies (18) Good night (5413) Bad night (2240)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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  (732): I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches http://tfl.nu/f64u
  Replies (19) Good night (3927) Bad night (1065)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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  (563): I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful? http://tfl.nu/ij5q
  Replies (24) Good night (3337) Bad night (3525)
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  (925): View more from California

  Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.

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  (925): Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night. http://tfl.nu/16il
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (1610)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex

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  (517): I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex http://tfl.nu/ieaq
  Replies (14) Good night (2402) Bad night (784)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i am way too old to be getting fingered at work

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  (519): i am way too old to be getting fingered at work http://tfl.nu/4t42
  Replies (37) Good night (5933) Bad night (1412)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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  (715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols
  Replies (2) Good night (1461) Bad night (590)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up

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  (910): I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up http://tfl.nu/word
  Replies (4) Good night (1705) Bad night (431)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  How did she break his doorknob?

  (1+41): View more from

  That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.

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  (+41): How did she break his doorknob? (1+41): That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought. http://tfl.nu/2qqq
  Replies (4) Good night (1705) Bad night (432)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who dressed up as a cop at your party???

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  idk I have to check. Why?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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  (724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (2438) Bad night (302)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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  (250): If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you. http://tfl.nu/tnhh
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (284)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.

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  (573): I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs. http://tfl.nu/ty2k
  Replies (8) Good night (586) Bad night (216)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote

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  (717): I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote http://tfl.nu/lx18
  Replies (2) Good night (181) Bad night (402)

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