I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
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I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.