Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

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  (616): somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult. http://tfl.nu/q2ig
  Replies (25) Good night (3736) Bad night (2460)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest

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  (401): i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest http://tfl.nu/hnl6
  Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (3933)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.

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  (256): Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you. (228): Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it. http://tfl.nu/6bli
  Replies (29) Good night (2090) Bad night (4364)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

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  (630): i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered. http://tfl.nu/mib4
  Replies (6) Good night (2794) Bad night (895)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.

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  (+44): Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some. http://tfl.nu/rrxv
  Replies (6) Good night (3230) Bad night (757)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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  (931): How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you. http://tfl.nu/giys
  Replies (7) Good night (3326) Bad night (1152)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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  (256): So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen. http://tfl.nu/ty3k
  Replies (3) Good night (2492) Bad night (625)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.

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  (812): I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy. http://tfl.nu/z5fr
  Replies (13) Good night (2834) Bad night (471)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig

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  (406): we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig http://tfl.nu/68f1
  Replies (7) Good night (522) Bad night (1936)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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  (540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks
  Replies (4) Good night (1661) Bad night (589)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (1147)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha

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  (228): Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha http://tfl.nu/vrbu
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (242)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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  (515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (287)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.

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  (270): Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash. http://tfl.nu/fwcr
  Replies (8) Good night (283) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I will probably dream about it.

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  (517): I ate the most amazing corn dog today. (517): I will probably dream about it. http://tfl.nu/pmjz
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (258)

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