Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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