it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
