we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
