You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
