whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
