i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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