I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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