please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
