No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
