I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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