Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
