and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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