but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
