well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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