the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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