That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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