he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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