And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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