1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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