So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
