He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
