Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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