Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
