If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
