Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
