Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize