I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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