Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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