No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!