I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?