know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream