i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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