drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up