Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I'm drive I can fine osifer

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(989): View more from Michigan

Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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(937): View more from Ohio

someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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(309): View more from Illinois

This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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(631): View more from New York

I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?

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