ADVERTISEMENT

• (360): View more from Washington

  No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

  Fav 15 1930 967

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

  Fav 20 5200 1017

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

  Fav 17 875 7321

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

  Fav 31 6999 1568

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

  Fav 21 5229 2113

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.

  Fav 9 1951 5228

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

  Fav 16 3083 1398

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

  Fav 17 1345 2702

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

  Fav 6 2732 941

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

  Fav 3 1632 777

  share tweet
  

• (979): View more from Texas

  my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

  Fav 10 756 1829

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

  Fav 3 1972 717

  share tweet
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  All's fair in love and war. and tinder.

  Fav 0 580 516

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research

  Fav 3 623 359

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (983): View more from

  We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!

  Fav 5 81 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize