South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
