Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
