i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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