You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
