i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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