Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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