Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
