when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
