Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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