There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
