plz talk dirty to me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
