You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
