dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let's get the cat blown out
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
