He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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