so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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