she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
