Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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