White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
