hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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